Great. Britain. At last.

There is a phenomenon currently gripping the world. It's the U-shaped pillow, aka the Spine-Sofa, the U-Pillow, the Neck-Couch. Yes, I have spoken about them before, but I am currently love-struck. These simple, soft and cuddly neck hugging devices are probably the most important development in human comfort since the invention of boxer shorts. To think of the ridicule I gave the Chicken-hawk at the start of the trip. "Who brings a pillow! What's next a bum bag or money-belt?" I jeered. How wrong I was! I think the band should definitely add them to our line of merchandise. In the meantime, get yourself down to UFS Bridge Mall and pick one up. You won't regret it!

Anyway, stop over in Singapore was relatively incident free apart from the purchase of more spine-sofas. Boarding the plane, however, was a different story. It all started with our Singapore Airlines 'Ticket Allocation Representative' at Tullamarine. She literally took an entire geological epoch to check our bags in and issue our boarding passes. And do you think, during all this time, she could have wrangled us some good seats? No. The leg between Singapore and London was spent sitting 40cm from the toilet door. I think this may be some sort of cruel revenge for me asking her for an upgrade based on the fact I once held a First Aid Certificate (currently expired). Now there are some benefits of being so close to the ablution units. Primarily, the regular sound of flushing can be mistaken for waves crashing on a beach, if (1) you are three-quarters asleep, or (2) live near the effluent outflow at Williamstown. There are however some serious disadvantages to this septic proximity. Firstly, people feel that if it is dark and you look asleep, then they can thrust their rear-ends into your face as they wait and let people squeeze past. This situation would be a proctologist's dream, sure, but not quite my cup of tea. Secondly, the space near the toilets seems to attract all manner of manic, sugar-crazed toddlers who want to climb all over you. Finally, who wants to spend 12 hours feeling as if they are in a never-ending toilet queue! Not me. At least I had my neck-couch for comfort.

So... we are now in Glasgow. Tomorrow the Highlands.

Until then, may all your pillows be U-shaped,

e-out